Lesson 4: What Does It Mean to Forgive Others? (part 1)

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32
 
Imagine you’re a runner and you’re racing in the Olympics. You have the right shoes, the right clothes. Yet, something is desperately wrong. Locked onto your ankle is a heavy black ball and chain! This weight is very heavy, and with it on, you can’t finish the race. If only you could figure out a way to remove the ball and chain! Sadly, you think you don’t have the key to unlock the chain from your leg.

Then, you are told that you do possess the key to freedom. Quickly, you free yourself, and oh, what freedom! It’s as though that black ball miraculously turns into a big helium balloon. The load is lifted, the balloon is released, and the weight is gone.

In our daily lives, unforgiveness can be a heavy black ball that weighs us down. We can focus on the pain that has been inflicted upon us and desire vengeance for that sin. However, the Bible says we can escape this weight and that the key is forgiveness. “Let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1).
 
But why is it sometimes so hard to forgive others? If you have ever been betrayed by a friend, for a time you probably felt powerless to stop the pain. In this moment of pain, unforgiveness provides an illusion of power, which is something we all inherently desire. By refusing to forgive, you feel a sense of power, and by holding on to hatred, you feel infused with strength. And when you retaliate with revenge, you carry out a power play. But this is not how Christ wants us to live. He wants us to forgive.


But how? The key to forgiving others is to rightly understand what forgiveness is. To forgive means to release your resentment toward your offender. It is a choice we must make, not a feeling we have. In the Bible the word for forgiving means “to send away” — in other words, “to forgive, sends away or releases the penalty when someone wrongs you.” This implies that you choose to release your right to hear “I’m sorry,” release your right to be bitter, and release your right to get even. The Bible says, “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Colossians 3:13). You release your right to dwell on the offense, release your right to hold on to the offense, and release your right to keep bringing up the offense. The Bible says, “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9).

We will talk more about this in our next lesson.
 
Prayer today: Lord Jesus, thank You for caring about how much my heart has been hurt. You know the pain I have felt because of (list every offense). Right now, I release all that pain into Your hands. Thank you, Jesus, for dying on the cross for me and for extending Your forgiveness to me.