Lesson 7: Forgive and Forget, part 1

My father died when I was only 10 years old. He left us quite a bit of property and some money but several family members squandered everything we had. In three years, my family was living in poverty and debt. When I was older and really understood what our relatives had done, I urged my mother to take revenge on them, to get a lawyer to take them to court and let them have it. The older I got, the more bitter I became.

But the Bible says, "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written, ‘It is Mine to avenge, I will repay,’ says the Lord" (Romans 12:19). He is the One who measures out justice. He wants to handle such judgment for us—perhaps now, and certainly ultimately.

My mother always quoted verses like Romans 12:19. She completely forgave our relatives for what they did. It took us 20 years to finish paying our debts. But she simply refused to become bitter. She forgot what they had done. Consequently, God gave her a freedom of spirit and opportunities to serve the Lord. I experienced that same freedom and fruitfulness later when I, too, forgave them.

How deeply have you been hurt, my friend? Have you become bitter or unforgiving in your attitude? I would like to remind you of the story of Joseph. The Bible gives us many reasons why Joseph could have been a very bitter man. His brothers hated him and sold him into slavery. His master’s wife falsely accused him of a serious crime and had him thrown into an Egyptian prison. A government official promised to help him yet left him there to rot. Despite all these things, Joseph did not allow any root of bitterness to take hold in his life (Hebrews 12:15).


Many lives are spoiled by bitterness and a lack of forgiveness by almost anything in the world. People go through physical and emotional breakdowns because they refuse to forgive others. The longer we carry a grudge, the heavier it becomes. We cannot afford to harbor bitterness in our soul.

The Bible says, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13). We will look at Joseph’s life in more detail later in this study.

For twenty years Joseph’s brothers carried the debilitating burden of guilt within their hearts for what they had done to their brother. Each time they found themselves in a predicament they said, "In truth we are guilty concerning our brother" (Genesis 42:21). For 20 long years they were haunted by a skeleton they kept locked in a closet. Is there a skeleton hidden in your closet, my friend?

Prayer today: Lord God, sometimes forgiving the one who has hurt and betrayed me is too hard for me – help me to be like You in this; help me to love this person enough to want what You want for them.